I have let this sit for 3 days because of so many reasons. Sadness because it happened during sundowning. Angry and resentful because of what it represented. Distraught because I can't fix this just like I can't fix the circumstances I am faced with. Overwhelmed because I alone have to pick the pieces up. It was just too much at the moment.
I don't always have to be strong and I'm perfectly ok with that.
So I let it sit. Because it is ok not to do a darn thing sometime and I'm treating myself like a friend. I tell myself....when you are ready you will pick it up and move on.
And then it happened.....
I completely broke down last night. I knew it was close to happening because for the last few days I have had a hard time moving past moments that are difficult, such as this.
With Younger Onset Alzheimer, hard moments are a constant. Your ability to roll with it is vital to your own well being. It can be difficult at times to shake off the blows before the next one happens. You don't get breaks from them. It is in your face 24/7.
My response is all I can control and I don't have to respond until I'm ready.
Today I'm ready. I have saved this picture because it inspired me a few weeks back to create a light fixture with wood. I just didn't have the hardware. I am looking down at this shattered lamp with a different perspective this morning because now I do and that makes me happy!
Life can be hard. I'm so glad I learned how to be my own friend. I'm a Scorpio ....I can't imagine having myself as an enemy. Lol.
#WeWalkThisTogether #EarlyOnsetAlzheimer #YoungerOnsetAlzheimer #Alzheimer #EOAD
